Shatner's Toupee

I didn’t post this filk when I wrote it, because I felt it was a bit mean. However, he’s now managed to thoroughly milkshake duck himself, so here goes…

I remember the year the show began
The bridge crew had a woman named Uhura who was black
Spock put his fingers around Van Gelder’s ears
And it wasn’t too much later that a rock was talking back
I remember the alien menagerie where they crowned the king of Ceti Alpha
Now that’s all I can think of, but I’m sure there’s something else
Like a space worm inside me I can feel it coming back

Shatner’s toupee will show the way when you go beaming down
(Shatner’s toupee when you are beaming down)
Shatner’s toupee and pollen spray will turn your brain around
(Shatner’s toupee and pollen spray)

Romulans and Klingons were fighting out in space
We tried to help ’em fight, Starfleet appreciated that
Charlie X was mad when they outlawed Mudd’s women
Ten years later they were sharing the same cell
I shouted out “Free the Galileo Seven”
And a green-skinned belly dancer came and showed us all her curves
The captain’s very big, he’s a big important man
And the social justice warriors are getting on his nerves

Shatner’s toupee will show the way when you go beaming down
(Shatner’s toupee when you are beaming down)
Shatner’s toupee seen on Blu-ray will turn your brain around
(Shatner’s toupee it’s on Blu-ray)

Shatner’s toupee is here to stay
After the show has gone away
The Trekkie brigade is marching to the grave

It is a five year mission
There is a complication
He’s wearing a toupee…