Trump inaugural poem

The Independent published a story about a poem supposedly written in honor of the inauguration of Donald Trump:

Come out for the Domhnall, ye brave men and proud,
The scion of Torquil and best of MacLeod!
With purpose and strength he came down from his tower
To snatch from a tyrant his ill-gotten power.
Now the cry has gone up with a cheer from the crowd:
“Come out for the Domhnall, the best of MacLeod!”
When freedom is threatened by slavery’s chains
And voices are silenced as misery reigns,
We’ll come out for a leader whose courage is true
Whose virtues are solid and long overdue.

And so on. Ghastly stuff. It immediately made me imagine a Trump inauguration poem by the late, great Scottish poet William Topaz McGonagall…

Lines on the glorious inauguration of Donald Trump #

by William McGonagall #

‘Twas in the year two thousand fifteen,
That a new Presidential candidate burst upon the scene.
He stood on a descending escalator,
And offered to be America’s next great dictator.

The name of this fair-haired candidate was Trump,
And the people could tell that he was no chump,
For he was the owner of many a fine hotel,
And also a failing Atlantic City casino as well.

Some said the Donald reminded them of Hitler,
Excepting that his hands were a good deal littler.
Others thought he was more like Mussolini,
Excepting for his hands being so teeny.

Neo Nazis and the Ku Klux Klan,
Declared that Donald Trump was their man.
And with his message of incompetence and hate,
He soon became the leading Republican candidate.

Then the media became a wee bit concerned,
When through their investigations they learned,
That Russian billionaires linked to organized crime,
Had been lending Trump money for quite some time.

In the end thanks to Putin and Wikileaks,
Trump was elected, causing a chorus of anguished liberal shrieks.
And so it was that a few short months later,
He was inaugurated as America’s first Presidential traitor.